Gosh, I write about my mom almost as much as I write about how desperate I am to meet a cool dude and start a family. I’m not really living up to my life goals I made as a teenager to be a super cool independent gal who doesn’t need her parents or a man to make her life complete. But then again that me thought I’d own my place before getting married at 25. I also thought I’d be making six figures (though I didn’t really know what that meant). Teenage me was crazy! Hmmm so is 30 year old me…
I’m writing about my mom today, for what feels like the100th time, because she is in the hospital again and I feel an overwhelming urge to share my appreciation for the woman I love most in the world (but sadly probably treat the worst). Okay, not probably. I know I treat my mom terribly. I take advantage of her kindness, I overreact to everything she says and I openly make fun of her. I’m the worst daughter ever. Lucky for me, my mom (usually) takes it all in stride, because whether she still likes it or not, I’m her daughter and she loves me. And I write many blog posts about her so she knows I love her too.
My mom had surgery on Monday to remove a few hernias that were likely a result of her previous surgeries two years ago when she had cancer. The surgery seemed to go okay, but I don’t really know because I wasn’t there. I’m still not there. I’ve used up all my vacation time, save for two days I’m using at Christmas, and my mom insisted she’d rather my sisters and I come when she’s out of the hospital. But since I was there for her first two surgeries, I feel completely lost waiting at work for my dad to call. My dad is the best, but he’s very quiet and shy and doesn’t ask a lot of question or just doesn’t provide a lot of details. Plus, he doesn’t know how to text, so I have to wait until he gets home from the hospital for an update. Seriously Dad, it’s 2013!
What I do know is that my mom was sent to ICU immediately after the surgery and spent the night there. I still don’t know if she has been moved out of there yet or not. And it’s driving me bonkers! I barely slept last night worrying about her and I have been asked multiple times for an update or how my mom is doing and I have no idea. I’m assuming everything is alright because I haven’t heard anything. My parent’s motto has always been “No news is good news.”
So today I’m trying to think about how much I love my mom and how I am going treat her better. Less blog posts and overreactions and more understanding and patience. I’m also trying to focus on all of the other wonderful things going on in the world*. Like the early arrival of my best friend’s baby daughter last week. I’m really excited because I get to meet the little cutie this weekend when I go home to help my mom after she gets out of the hospital. The pictures of her on Facebook dressed in a knit reindeer hat and sleeping in a snowman basket are doing a great job of keeping me distracted. Babies are the best!
* Wow, sorry, I almost made it through an entire blog post without saying “I’m trying to focus on all the good, blah, blah, blah”. Please refer to me here on out at Broken Record Lo.